“So, this old fucker comes in today, rich guy….”
“How do you know he was rich?”
“You can tell. Anyway…”
“I thought the people who had that insurance were not usually rich,”
“No, the old ones can be. They’re retired so they don’t have their fancy insurance from work anymore. And you can tell. He dressed nice...”
“What was he wearing to Silas?”
“OK, it was a t-shirt and shorts. But he had Nikes. And the shirt was nice. The shorts weren’t Marshalls. He had a gold wedding ring. His other hand he had some kind of big, fat ring, like a school ring.”
“College?”
“Yeah, pretty sure.”
“Did you see what school?”
“I didn’t notice. But it had a few diamonds around the middle and a big, red stone on top. That was thousands of dollars on his hands.”
“Still doesn’t mean he was rich.”
“They ALL are. You know how much their houses are worth? Millions. Fuck him. Why are you sticking up for him?”
“I’m not sticking up for him. I don’t even know what he did to piss you off.”
“He comes in there, and this is supposed to just be a quick check-up. He had some kind of leg surgery and I’m just supposed to ask him some questions. Wiggle his toes under his splint, that’s it.”
“And?”
“And the son of a bitch tells me he’s dying to get out of the splint and feel his leg in the air or some shit. Asks me if I’ll take it off and just let his leg have freedom for a few minutes. Then put a new one on!”
“Shit.”
“Yeah! I’m like, are you kidding me?”
“You said that?”
“No, but I was thinking it. Thinking a lot worse.”
“Did you tell him no?”
“I told him he wasn’t due to have the splint off. He said he knew that. But he was hoping I’d do him a favor. Make an exception. Said he was so uncomfortable. I said the new one’s going to feel the same way.”
“What’d he say?”
“He said he just wanted a few minutes of freedom. He tried to joke about his leg getting out of prison just for an afternoon or some shit.”
“What did you do?”
“Well, he could tell I wasn’t happy, but I got the scissors. I tried to smile but I ripped that thing apart hard. He felt it, I know. And then he sat there, the old bastard, smiling, scratching his skinny, white leg, leg dandruff flying around…”
“Oh, god.”
“Yeah, and saying, ‘ahh,’ and ‘thank you, that feels great.’”
“Well, at least he said thank you.”
“I don’t give a shit! I ain’t got time for that bullshit! Selfish prick.”
“How long did you let him scratch his bony ass?”
“He said, ‘I just want ten minutes’. So, I said, ‘I’ll come back. Be careful,’ as sweet as I could and left to go back to the station. Nobody there could believe it either.”
“So, what happened when you came back?”
“He was laying on his back, smiling, you know. He said thank you again.”
“Well, that’s nice that you did that.”
“It’s bullshit that I did that. I should have said fuck no. That’s the problem, I’m too fucking nice.”
“So did you put on a new splint?”
“Yeah, but here’s the good part. I didn’t put it on perfect, you know? I mean I’m fucking great at splinting. I’m the GOAT. But that means I also know how to do it not so good, you know what I mean?”
“What did you do?”
“I made it tight around the ankle, you know what I mean? Not too tight he’d feel it right then, but it will rub. I’ll bet right now, he’s moving that fucking leg around, trying to get comfortable and it feels like shit on that ankle.”
“Damn. That was a bitchy thing to do to the old dude.”
“Fuck him! Was he right making me do all that work?”
“I mean he just wanted to feel his leg free for a few minutes.”
“Oh yeah? Well, I’ll tell you what. I want to live his life for ten minutes, how about that? Walk around his back yard. Cook in his big ass kitchen. Take a shower in his marble shower room. Ten minutes, just like his leg. Think if I asked him for that, he’d let me?”
“I mean if it rubs that ankle raw, he could get an infection.”
“Then let him come back and have somebody fix it.”
“He might come back and it’s you again. You could get in trouble.”
“He’ll never know I did anything wrong and the odds I’m on shift when he comes in are – there’s no chance. I’m just a cog in the huge Silas Healthcare machine. He’ll be someone else’s problem.”
“But they’ll see you did the splint. There are records.”
“User error. He rolled around on it wrong. He banged it against a wall. I don’t do bad splints, remember?”